The Bonnie Kavoussi Dichotomy: The Battle for Good and Evil

Bonnie Kavoussi '11 is a woman of many journalistic graces. Besides being the Barbara Walters of the Harvard Crimson (and our favorite Crimson minion) and Latin connoisseur, Bonnie spends her nights investigating the seedy underbelly of everyone's favorite escort service over in Canaday A. We know better than to think her investigative endeavors will end up merely on the ultimately irrelevant pages of her propaganda rag of choice, and rumors have sprouted about Kavoussi working on her own publication (and we're starting rumors right here, right now of her joining ours in wishful thinking). Or perhaps Kavoussi is working on a one-time tell-all book about her nights on the SaROFL Brothel beat that may include special appearances by former Canaday A resident Steven Johnston '09 (aka IOP guy), frequent "flyer" George Thampy '10, and rival escort magnate Dylan Ryan '04. Either way, in yet another level of meta-journalism, while Kavoussi looks out for the little people, we're looking out for Kavoussi.

And the story we dug up while on the lookout is nothing short of shocking.

In our research, we expected to find a cutesy lead regarding the ubiquitous DJ Smolinsky '11 affair (which we did- more details to come) and perhaps a hot tip of the whereabouts of Josh Zagorsky '11 (who we have recently discovered is in hiding for fear of assassination). But instead we ran into the simultaneous existence of two parallel universes, and the simultaneous existence of two Bonnie Kavoussis, one a bastion of all that is true and just at our prestigious university and, the other: an unstoppable force of perhaps not-so-good in Justice lectures and sections everywhere.
Meet Brittney Lind '11 (no relation to Crimson magnate and Jimmy O'Keefe '09 groupie Emma Lind '09). If you took Justice last semester, you'll recognize her as the reincarnation of Alex Harris '08, the ultimate section girl- so much so that she was section girl during lecture. We anticipate that she may, just like Harris, also have friends to feed her army of moral chivalry that cavalcades throughout the honorable Harvard land. As their leader, she became that righteous voice standing alone against the vast army of Sandellian Libertarians, talking about Rawls' stupid "veil of ignorance" as if it was Einstein's Theory of Relativity. You might recognize her picture because it was posted on EVERY OTHER POST on the Justice Blog (and that's where we got it from, too). In addition to all this, we found a Crimson article that reveals that she is, in fact, a famous rapper. Talk about have more than a few weapons of choice.

So the question remains: is Brittney Lind Bonnie Kavoussi's evil twin? Are they actually one in the same, with Bonnie being the daytime version of the mischievous Lind. Does DJ Smolinsky have an evil twin, too (and is he single)?

Stay tuned to GossipGeek for the latest developments on this alarming matter!

~Enigmatic Seal~