Dept. of Overeager Freshmen: Chris Ballesteros Thinks the UC is an Early Bird Special

Well, lookee what we have here: Christopher Augustine Ballesteros '12, a shady character we had been warned about in July, has somehow started running for the UC position of his hut or whatever it is freshmen live in without school actually having started or anyone being on campus. Cute.
Our tipster from July had warned us that Ballesteros was out there and in waiting, like a shark wading around a shore by the Hamptons smelling out the Armani-disguised blood. He apparently wants to be president of the United States- or so we're told, and has taken the naive position that all presidents of the UC will inevitably take over the White House. While this fate is locked in place for our good friend Matthew "I would never run for (vice) president of the UC because it would compromise my friendships"* Sundquist '09, our current fearless leader is an anomaly- a true populist leader with the charm, expertise, and dedication it takes to lead a country. Hell, we'd vote for him over either of the losers nominated for president right now. But Chris Ballesteros, unless thunder has struck twice in our little Harvard Hamlet, can't hope to be that kind of leader.

But we could, perhaps, be wrong, and this Chris Ballesteros might actually be a Chris Baller, a dude so cool that the fact that he's running for a UC position BEFORE FRESHMEN WEEK BEGINS can be overlooked due to his overwhelming manliness and compassion.

Eh, no, we're not wrong. He's probably just another overeager Boy Scout powermonger on our campus. Join the club!

That said, Ballster is a pretty fine dude. Coming into his first year at Harvard with a bachelor's from Purdue in "business management" and running his own wedding photography business, he's got quite the reputation for a Harvard freshman. In fact, probably not since the matriculation of Greek-pop superstar Petros '09 or hot-shot TV producer Derek Flanzraich '10 has there been such buzz around a single student. Oh, and it helps that he's so dreamy!:
We totally were going to anti-endorse him for douchily starting his campaign early (isn't that, like, an election commission violation?), but who can say no to a face like that? Don't even try to claim you wouldn't hit it.

*2006