Republicans Kill Blog, Deliver Death Blow to Crazy UC Candidate

Speaking of destruction of the UC, everyone remembers ridiculous UC libertarian candidate and Tim Hwang '08 spawn Frances Martel '09, right? She and her partner-in-crime, a nonexistent "metaphysical entity" named Leopard Simmerman '09, wreaked havoc by dancing to loud renditions of Petros '09 classic "Body Glow" in front of the Science Center, thus disturbing all classes within it. All this happened while a barely-contested UC race went on, with Matt "Change We Can Believe In" Sundquist '09 crushing Roy "Above the Law" Wiley '09 and poor innocent Nick Snow '09 getting dragged along for the ride.

Anyway, so back then, the Harvard Republican Club, known for making crazy endorsements of Magnus Grimeland '07 (the original political snow bunny) and sometimes getting conned by John Voith '07 into thinking Voith hated the gays (?), decided to change its image by endorsing a serious candidate, thus thrusting them to their doom. Except something went awry and they endorsed Willey instead, a fervent Democrat and supporter of Joe Biden, the senator from Delaware, which is not a state in which people have Southern accents. Martel, editor-in-chief of the Republican Club Blog, flipped out and called them all racists or something, and then ex-HRC president Jeffrey Kwong '09- affectionately nicknamed "The Republican Pericles", who was working for the SS- er, Sundquist-Sarafa, flipped out too, said it was a "slap in the face", and that any decent human being would vote for Sundquist, but give Martel the second-place vote as a personal little "fuck you" to the HRC.

Fast-forward almost a year later, and, since since the RNC is raging and Harvard blog Dem Apples had live from Denver coverage, we decided to visit RedIvy and see what hijinks Martel was up to in St. Paul, probably canoodling with the Ron Paul Constitutional Liberationists. What we found was shocking (and, no, we're not talking about finding out that Luis Martinez '12 was actually the real editor-in-chief this whole time):

"These are the last days of RedIvy as you know it. The higher-ups at the HRC/ILRC have decided that Republicans in the Ivy League and, specifically, at Harvard, do not need an internet presence in which to voice their opinions. The plan, as I understand it, is to reclaim the name and revamp the site after a few months of strategizing."

Wha???? Also, note that this post was "edited for civility", which means we probably missed an awesome post about freedom of speech and hating white people. TB, Harvard! But, anyway, a blog has just died, and we can only imagine the internal drama that lead to that decision after a few posts on Rachel Maddow and Bob Barr (our hero!). And right-wingers have no Harvard place on the Internet for them. This is sad, and cruel, and improper, and we hold all entities- all presidents of the HRC ever, Martel, Martinez, and current president Motley (what is with the alliteration here?)- accountable for not having a blog. How dare you in this critical time of Republican pregnancies not speak up?? Moreover, we smell something fishy. Martel has been involved in several controversies with the GOP despite being practically a fascist- all of them involving RedIvy, most of them happening in late 2006. Considering she was their only writer, and they're thinking the revamping, and they had to edit Martel's last post- GG smells the swimming fish stronger than a sardine can full of Michael Phelps. Not to mention they had just picked up some crazy-ass libertarian freshman, SuddenlySteve- who we would gladly pick up as a columnist!

Anyway, this is weird, and we want our RedIvy back. It's just not fair to let Markus Kolic '09 and crew (including Eva Lam '09) just run amok all over our internets with no supervision! More blogs=more power!