Early Election Day Results!!!!

People think that we here at GossipGeek only have very close sources in and around activity relevant to Harvard lore. While this is the truest statement you could possibly hear from anyone ever (that is, the statement that we are omniscient about Harvard gossip), we also happen to have quite good sources in the know about the upcoming (here!) election! For example, that guy, Steve Johnston '09, who run the McCain youtube, has been overheard via mass email as saying that he really wants McCain to win and would expect a Republican victory today. Others, such as the infamously unbiased Jarret Zafran '09, seem to have created for himself the notion that Obamacopter is going to sweep the nation with its Wings of Desire or whatever, where he goes from being an angel sent from God to a human president that falls in love with Nastassja Kinski in Berlin.

Whatever.

The point is, those in the know- otherwise known as the people rigging the election right now- have already decided for America, and we've decided to spill the bens to you, the loyal GG reader, before anyone else. Yes, not even Perez Hilton has his hands on such elusive information, flitting from us with every barrell of hanging chads floating in Lake Okeechobee. The winning of tonight's election is:

SURPRISE RON PAUL BLIMP ATTACK!!!

To be honest, we were really expecting Bob Barr to pull this one out of the hat, but it appears that will the millions of dollars in blimp funds and profits from his racist black people magazine from the 1870s, Paul has managed to buy himself the electoral votes of every single major swing state in America, and also California for some reason. What this means to our average reader, we really don't know, but we're glad to have broken the news.