GossipGeek now has 100% Endorsement Success Record!!!!

As everyone knows, the UC elected its first Latina president last night despite the many, many attempts by the powers-that-be to steal the election out from under her. Thus, we are the only organization on campus that has a 100% positive endorsement ratio. On a related note, Peter Shields '09 also has an 100% endorsement ratio (he endorsed Sundquist-Sarafa last year by being in that facebook group). What does this mean? Peter Bacon '11- you should start courting us sooner rather than later if you want to succeed Andrea.

But the real morning after story here isn't at all this silly hullaballoo about race and class and pretty curly hair. GossipGeek has been forwarded some exclusive hilarious information on Election Commissioner Steven T. Cupps '09, a smooth operator from the start with some dealings on the UC underground. It appears that Cupps is really, really not corrupt, says a reliable source (namely, Steven Cupps). So much so, that it really kinda super upsets him when people claim he is, despite the rice and mango he made last Sunday by suspending and attempting to shut Andrea's campaign down because a dual agent working for the Schwartz campaign, one Sangu Delle '10, tricked a tropical Flores staffer into breaking the rules by disappearing deep into the heart of Africa mid-campaign, or something. We'll give him and Cupps the benefit of the doubt, acknowledging that others have hurt the poor man's feelings enough and that, really, who gives a shit.

Now to the juicy part. Sometime IOP and Dems hack and On Harvard Time comedic mastermind Brian Kaufman '10, a friend of the Flores campaign, thought that this entire corruption Mike Ragalie-Tamar Holoshitz-(?)Steven Cupps threesome scandal (as Daniel Kroop '10, Flores campaign manager, likes to suggest) was a little too much to hold in, even if they didn't succeed in their ultimate goal. So he sent a friendly email to Lowell-open that started perhaps the funniest chain of events in Election Commission history. We will reproduce the best parts of the chain in the below post, but for those of you without the attention span/time to wade through the mud, there's the SparkNotes version:

Brian Kaufman: na na na na na! Nice try corrupty McCorruptionstein! Steven Cupps is so incompetent at cheating Andrea won anyway! LOL!

Rahul Prabakhar: Yeah! You tell him Cupps!

Steven Cupps: Oh you little- I'm going to beat the shit out of you, you fucker. Come to my room so Ragalie and I can double-team you like the bitch you are. I'm so manly right now.

BK: Oh yeah! I forgot about you, Rahul! You're an asshole, too.

Ralph Paone:






Mike Ragalie: [Something boring that explains things legitimately]

BK: Thanks, Mike. Steven, why didn't you just say that?

SC: I'm beating the shit out of you, you little piece of shit. You spend all your day watching midget porn and offending Charles Darwin. You're completely not important enough for me to talk to. Go off running to your mom. Also, apologize to my feelings. In sum: fuck you.