Because Jack Pararas seems to think he has. I guess he never got the memo.In yet another shameless dash for the spotlight, super-senior Jack Pararas (08-?) bum-rushed the stage at the Girl Talk concert with his personal bullhorn purchased especially for the occasion and began imperiously barking orders at the crowd, commanding them to quiet immediately, form closed ranks, and pledge their allegiance to him. Several alarmed students notified the proper authorities of the stage assault, who appeared on the scene immediately to apprehend the excitable Pararas. Pararas, who was rumored to be, as one anonymous yet reliable witness put it, “out of himself in a stereotypically CEB way,” reacted belligerently and abrasively towards HUPD officers. Reinforcements were necessary to subdue the out-of-control campus fixture. In the ensuing battle royale, the Boss Tweed of the Undergraduate Council social scene, corrupt political schemer Ben Schwartz '10 and the Natasha to his Boris, Alneada Biggers '10 joined the fray. A disgusted DJ Girl Talk was spotted swearing indignantly at Pararas and co. (“What a bunch of fucking tools”) before the show was abruptly cancelled in light of Pararasgate and Schwartz was hauled off for questioning.
~An exclusive report from the Habsburg Prince
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