SaROFL Freshman Brothel UPDATE! Spotted in the Dead of Night!

When we first encountered him shuffling suspiciously into Canaday A last Friday night checking up on his "business", we could hardly believe it. Our evidence was clear; the pictures gave us the thousand and one words we needed to understand his shady dealings. Yet we did, in fact, give him the benefit of the doubt. Or, at the very least, we gave Harrison Greenbaum '08, who happened to be standing somewhere near the Yard at the time, the benefit of the doubt (Greenbaum promptly made like a magician and disappeared from the scene before our high-tech cameraphones could get at him).

But what we saw the day after was simply unreal.



At 3:42 AM Sunday morning, UC Vice President Randall Sarafa '09 was spotted on the prowl in Harvard Yard once again, and trotting slightly intoxicatedly towards Canaday. This can only mean one thing: his freshman male "escort" service must be going swimmingly. Since he was not accompanied by a mysterious sidekick this time, and we were informed he was not seen entering Canaday A specifically, sources believe he may be attempting to expand his network to other Canaday entryways, soliciting dirty deeds from poor innocent little freshmen too starstruck by a personal visit from the ex-FiComm magnate too refuse his deviant offers. In his midnight recruiting spree, it is also speculated that he patronized his own business by the end of the night, and was quite the happy customer.

Because of the size of this escort service network, GG suspects that Randall is but one of many operatives working the streets. Suspects currently being investigated for such pandering include ex-SAC chair Mike Ragalie '09 (notable for being a Wisconsin fop) as well as rising FiComm Chair Andrea Flores '10 and the Clyde to her Currierite Bonnie, rising SAC chair Jon T. Staff V '10.

We'd like to apologize for the one quick post tonight. Believe it or not, some of us have schoolwork, Super Tuesday, or other procrastinating to attend to that prevents us from multiple posts. But we promise to come back bangin' tomorrow with a few posts that will blow you away!