Gossip Geek: UC "Where Are They Now?" Update: FI-Com Chair Emeritus Lori Adelman!

No one quite knows as well as we do the way the UC can chew up your life, swallow it, and then vomit it back all over the place when you've done your time in the nefarious beast's belly. It takes a courageous soul to brave the dangers of true UC involvement, and only a fearsome power-hugging hero can return from the ride alive. In fact, that's why we respect the UC peeps more than... well, I guess they're better than those shady Crimson kids. But for serious, when they're not plotting global domination, the UC kids are some tough cookies.

In fact, that's why we keep tabs on all the oldies but goodies that reigned in the UC when John Haddock '07 and Matt Glazer '06 were real people, when there was some dude named Clay Capp ('06-'07?) that roamed the halls of Sever on the lookout for more freshmen to scare out of the abominable hell of his existence before it was too late. Yes, the days when Ryan Petersen '08, much like Moses, stood over the Red Sea of hungry freshmen at Lamont and parted the waters with delicious Felipe's burritos (none of which we managed to eat, unfortunately. I think I might've gotten a grain of salt off of a tortilla chip that day). Ah, the nostalgia.

So imagine our elation when our first-class, grade-A superstar of an anonymous tipster lead us to the abode of FiComm Chair-turned-Reality-TV star Lori Adelman '08! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the predecessor to smooth-talking money man Randall Sarafa '09 and Currier heir apparent Andrea Flores '10 has been out and about in Cambridge, running on the loose and enjoying her pleasant retirement in style. We have heard, however, that her retirement from public life may swiftly be coming to close, and, judging from this picture, it appears she has, too:

While Adelman appears to be dealing quite well with the consequences of being Senior Class Marshall and a winner (according to our tipster) of something called "Celebration" (she sure can celebrate), it appears her upcoming endeavor might be a bit too much to handle. Rumor has it that Adelman will be

starring in the latest version of famed Reality TV program "Stranded with Cash Peters: Celebrity Edition"- where various celebrities from across the world are forced to live in a house with Cash Peters at a location undisclosed to them. They are later scripted to fall in love and display said affection in all the right places for the hidden camera to see- only to vote Cash Peters off of the island on the next episode! As you can see, no matter how undisclosed the location, Japanese tourists will always find their way into a picture with Cash Peters and Harvard students.