Exclusive Ben Bolger Expose: Part 1 of ?

Infamous former Gov TF, Benjamin "B" Bolger, is back! As seen on his alarming personal website (please take a few moments to browse - even GossipGeek couldn't make this stuff up), his life story as he tells it leaves Lewis Liu's two-page 8-font resume trampled in the mud. Bolger, 33 years old, claims to have earned 12 university degrees, taught at 13 universities, interned with two presidents, worked as a park ranger and a NYC police officer, and much, much, much more. But the former doctorate student (who never completed his degree) is far better known around the globe as a deluded photo-op grubber. Embarrassingly, he has posted literally hundreds of photos of himself with stars ranging from MC Hammer to Jane Fonda to every member of the US government; in each photo, his arm is slung congenially over the stars' shoulders while he beams into the camera. A 2003 Crimson reporter says that he talks about himself "like his story is the first half of the inevitable movie script" and ended his interview by casually claiming he had to make it to several other "photo shoots" that day. His "networking" doesn't end at the rich and famous, though; one horrified Harvard student reported that days after simply posting his name and address on Linkedin.com, Bolger "friended" him; the request is still pending.

Apparently the scalliwag is still at it. He has recently moved back to Cambridge, settling into a suspiciously ostentatious residence on Brattle Street after realizing that the Harvard scene contains a virtually unrivaled flow of celebs from all disciplines. Last week, a GossipGeek reporter stumbled across Bolger, and what she saw reveals that the celeb stalker's methods are far more sordid than anyone could have known. First, Bolger was spotted leaning faux-casually against University Hall, his eyes whirling with glee as he watched Drew Faust emerge from the building with an unknown male friend. Since he has already collected several photos with Faust, Bolger must have had his sights set on the companion. He trotted avidly after the pair towards the gate behind Widener, throwing on a fancy tuxedo jacket as he ran. Just before leaving the Yard, Faust's friend flicked a small wad of paper into the rubbish bin near Wigglesworth D. Our reporter couldn't believe her eyes when Bolger immediately scrambled to the bin and began shamelessly rummaging for the scrap of paper. It seems all too likely that Bolger had no idea who Faust's companion was at all; he was just following to see if he could find out if the man was famous enough to approach for a photo. In fact, GossipGeek has come to suspect that Bolger has taken up a semi-permanent sentinel's post in the Yard so that he can scan constantly for celebs major and minor. We approached a few students walking near his post to ask if they recognized Bolger. One freshman exclaimed, "Oh, that guy?! Yeah, he sits by University Hall for hours every day. At first I thought he was a security guard, but now... I mean, look at him, there's something seriously missing...he gives me the heebies." It looks like all our favorite campus celebrities should keep one wary eye behind them at all times, though his stalking skills probably outpace even the most paranoid students; the first whiff of his presence will inevitably be his meaty arm snaking intimately around your neck and the flash of a digital camera.

UPDATE: After recognizing his picture on my computer screen, several people bizarrely joined the GG writing staff for the night, abandoning final paper work to complete hours of extensive online research. One older Harvard affiliate claims to have worked with Bolger in the Gov department back in 2006 and hates him; tomorrow he will "definitely be digging up [Bolger's] dissertation at Loeb Library" in search of more dirt. The sheer dedication of these temporary new staff members leads us to believe that Bolger's past contains things far more riveting than his nauseating photo album, so stay tuned for more stomach-flipping details about Bolger's exploits!