Summer Celebrity Hot Spots- IOP Edition!

We've always wondered: when finals are done, where do our favorite politicos go to relax, soak in the swampy heat, and grovel at the feet of greater (and lesser) stars than themselves? With the help of a few embedded sources within the IOP's Summer in Washington program, Gossip Geek finally has an answer.

The SIW summer directory is studded with names well known to GG readers: failed UC presidential would-be Roy T. Willey IV '09, socialite Crystal Huang '11, blonde IOP temptress Mary Cox '10, pretty boy Mark Hoadley '09, and 128 more. Slaving away on the Hill, our sources didn't have time to read the whole list. They did, however, bemoan the conspicuous absence of these campus fixtures from IOP-wide events. As one whined, "They have this whole Georgetown party circuit of their own, up and down 34th street, where everyone who was anyone goes, and no one else in SIW knows about it!"

Who could be more central to the exclusive 34th Street crew than UC sweethearts Andrea Flores '10 and Jon Staff '10? Though Andrea chose a posh apartment with IOP royalty Ana Mendy '09, she is often spied at the intersection of 34th and Prospect Street near the condo of IOP up-and-comer Tejas Sathian '10 and his entourage of "two anonymous white guys with indie t-shirts and really nice hair."

But you didn't think I'd take time off from my tan just to tell you that, did you?

Notably missing from this scene, according to a source that identified himself as "just a guy on the [34th] street," are BMF Latino Gabriel Unger '11 and BSA hand-shaker George Hayward '11 (rival super-racially-transcendent presidential candidates in 2036), pollster and networking extraordinaire Rahul Prabhakar '09, and SIW's perennially-cheerful director, Emily Wooton '09. And as for Ms. Mendy? "I think Ana goes around with a different crowd now, from McKinsey, because she drunk-texted me to sell Bear Stearns just before, well, you know."
But even in her absence, the unsubstantiated rumors continue to swirl about 34th Street, that Axis of Infamy: Will Crystal and overcaffeinated roommate Elise Liu '11 successfully seduce the "almost hotter with Lacoste polos on" Colgate bros upstairs? Will drool-worthy future senators Will Leiter '10 and Colin Motley '10 (possibly related to Johnny Motley '11????) succumb to their obvious homoerotic tension? Or has all of this happened already, and our sources just suck? We may never know -- but stay tuned in case we find out.

-Gazelle