Matt Sundquist '09 Uses Computer

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, even the Holy Grail of Harvard celebrity, that affable Everyman, that delightfully eye-catching Richard Nixon-Barack Obama hybrid, Matt Sundquist ’09, ex-vice president of the UC, appears to inhabit the cavernous Computer Science lairs buried deep within the bowels of the Science Center. The following photos exclusively leaked to GossipGeek depict the King of the Plebes in The Thinker pose over computer #67- if any of you are interested in going and taking pictures next to a computer actually used by Matt Sundquist- and disprove the common notion that Sundquist actually has his sergeant-at-arms Walter “Walt” Howell ’09 answer all his email for him (further fueling these conspiracy theories were late-night emails from Sundquist’s account stating “I really want to score all the ladies” and “damn I was so wasted last night!”).


GossipGeek would like to point out that this is the first anonymous submission to our blog! Our anonymous contributor notified us that the only words he could read off of the email open on Sundquist’s computer were “Drew Faust” repeatedly across the screen. This worrisome development inclines us to believe Sundquist may be on a quest to usurp power from the almighty President. We'd like to remind you all that any submissions can be mailed to gossipgeek@gmail.com!


Sources close to a cousin of Gossip Geek’s brother-in-law (who, incidentally, is from rural Virginia) has notified us that there is an extremely high probability of these photos being fabricated by Mr. Sundquist himself, who is an avid fan of our journalistic work and is “desperate” to appear on our site. It is also rumored on the grapevine that his sidekick SaROFL’s lecherous dealings in freshman dorms made it to GossipGeek before he did.

Don’t worry, Matt- we’re onto you, too!!!!!