Dear Cabot

Thank you for being interesting for the first time since the dreaded "Cabot fever" outbreak made your entire House sick with gastroenteritis. We won't reproduce the entire thread here, but an email thread went out on Cabot-open that began with:

you took my entire bottle of laundry detergent, what the fuck? you could have just discreetly used some and put it back and no one would have been the wiser. way to be an asshole and a negative externality to cabot house life.

Climaxed at:

you are such a graceless pig. Go jerk off with you one-inch cock.

And culminated with:

Losers, stalkers, and community members with a mental disability have no place
in my life. I appreciate your offer, though. This conversation is over.

Along the way, a cornucopia of infantile insults ranging from "Ms. Retardo" to "ハーバードに進行するってどんだけたよ" to "please don't quit your day job of modeling bustiers and posting amateur softcore pornography".

Thank you, Cabot House!