They say to write about what you know, which is why Charleton A. Lamb '11 writes about preppiness, marijuana, and the Ivy League, and which is why we're writing about Charleton A. Lamb.Like us, this Lawrenceville alum and future posh Kirklander spends his days stalking other people and wearing awesome sunglasses. He writes for the Crimson's FM section, which internal sources have described as "crazy," "destroying America," and "has more sex than the rest of us combined, except maybe Biz board." And he guest-edits at IvyGate, where he was described as "the biggest drivel I've ever read at IG, even more so than all the Lena Chen ['09] posts." Ouch. We're only kind of, sort of, maybe laughing. A lot.
You see, Charleton, it takes grunt work to rise to the top. You can't just spend your days consorting with the likes of beauty queen Nora Ali '11, rock star Tony Wang '11, and mermaid Katy Hinkle '11, and expect to be somebody. Maybe you have to slave away for Gawker as "prodigious video intern" (read: porn slave), maybe you take sketchy cell phone pictures of Andrea Flores '10 outside Hilles.
Ray-bans up, Charleton: we're watching you. And we're watching who you're watching. And we're watching you watching them, and them watching you, and you watching us watching you, and...
-Gazelle
2 comments:
This post is quite hilarious. After reading Charleton's posts on IvyGate, it's clear that he is a better writer than you. You should actually consider having him write for gossip geek. Although your weekly updates on music are incredibly fascinating, I must say Charelton could probably give your site a little more substance.
-Charles
Dear Charles:
"We didn't start the fire. It was always burning since the world was turning."
Love, GossipGeek
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