GossipGeek 101: A Guide for the Freshies

Well here we are again, I guess it must be fate. Another year, another wild foray into the wacky world of Harvard celebrity for us. Yet for the first time in GossipGeek's short lifespan, we've got new peeps to incorporate into this whole shebang. People that are coming into Harvard with no knowledge of the blog (or anything, really), and somehow will hopefully see us as an established institution. People who understand the power of Harvard celebrity more than anyone on campus, because they are most often it's victims.
Yes, we are talking to you, Class of 2012.

Over the summer we have gotten many angry and confused emails about our site. Who are we? What are we up to? Who do we think we are, challenging the powerful wrath of Jon W. Staff V '10?? Well, today we're going to take a few minutes to explain to you what's up, before we move on any further with our mischief.
GossipGeek began in January 2008 as a group project among people who had nothing to do but were still high off the the adrenaline of a whirlwind secret project. We needed a venue to channel our energies, so we began to take blurry pictures of our favorite people on campus who were also well-known and well-liked. On our first try, we were viciously assaulted by a character who may or may not have been Drew Faust, but we liked it, so we started taking more pictures and writing absurd stories. Before we knew it, our star was rising and we were the definitive Harvard Gossip Site™, because, well, was there really any other place to go? There's the Crimson, which is lame; Juicy Campus, which we all agree is evil; and Bored at Lamont, which is, well, boring.

We're all about blurry pictures and absurd life stories. In fact, we have developed a unique "GossipGeek genre" of photography in which it is completely unclear who the person in the picture is or if there even is a person in the picture.

Let's make it a dance! (or at least a bulleted list):

• GossipGeek is looking for new members. Drop us a line at gossipgeek@gmail.com if you're interested in writing.
  
• GossipGeek is a satirical website, humorous in nature. GossipGeek is NOT 100% true all the time. GossipGeek is NOT 100% false all the time. We believe it will be pretty obvious when we're joking and when we're telling the truth.
• We like to cover campus events, too! Which means we'll be there when Petros '09 sings his heart out to America and when Andrea Flores '10 gets inaugurated as president of the UC (well, if they let us in). Come here for all the campus news you want and none of the bullshit you don't need.
• GossipGeek does not intend to hurt most people. Our raison d'etre is to point out ridiculousness in the general Harvard population (hubris, over-the-top career planning, finals club nonsense, etc). It is not to destroy anyone's life- most of the time.
• GossipGeek does maintain an open dialogue with the campus, which means we get most of our stories from you guys- the tipsters. We would be nothing without manic sophomores flashing the cameras away disguised as Asian tourists in front of the Science Center.
• GG does need money. Feel free to email us about donations for cameras and alcohol and such.
• GG does not violate any laws, so don't bother suing. Better people than you have tried and failed before.

Welcome to the new year frosh, and welcome to Harvard Culture! We'll be seeing you around plenty with our cameras and obscuring fedoras, and hope to hear all the luscious tips from you soon!

~Mozambique, editor in chief