You Know You've Made it When...

1. "Strangers" are instructed to call the police on you by the AdBoard
2. The Crimson puts you on its cover-in pink!
3. Rock n' roller Dave Pilbeam '25 (or whatever) halts his temperance revolution to lazily wag his finger at you
4. Nick Brown '08 anonymously implies he's going to break the bank on your ass
5. Jon Staff V '10 and Andrea Flores '10 bicker over you- on Brian Kaufman's '10* behalf
6. The only person that has anything bad to say about you was born in 40 BC

*not surprising that everyone is fighting over a cutie like him

This all happened to us this morning- all thanks to you!
We'd just like to take a second to acknowledge some peeps that were integral to our success:

Crimson Reporter Max Child '09?'10?, for covering the story with class

Magician Harrison Greenbaum '08, for being a magician (and thus allowing us to make infinite jokes about magic wands)

Randall Sarafa '09, for being "of service" to us on many lonely nights

David Gonzalez '11, just because

Cindy Lou Who and Bobby Teenager, for all the wonderful, savory bits and pieces of gossip we could have never discovered on our own.

And, last but not least, Roy T. Wiley IV '09, for being a polo player in a frat