Michael Koenigs Selects Unknown Alaskan Beauty as Veep

It sounds like Michael Koenigs '09 didn't get the memo. While other UC candidates are embracing the Obama message of hope, change, and black people winning things, Koenigs' dubious run for the UC presidency, which he has already started campaigning for (Steven Cupps '09 ALERT! Campaign violation!), has taken a sharp turn for the hilariously contemporary. Guaranteeing that a woman will at least win the Vice Presidency of the UC, Wastebasket News (like Gadfly, but even shittier thanks to self-righteous tree-copulators like Garrett "Dash Spice" Nelson '10- forthcoming article) is reporting that Koenigs went all the way back to the great endless tundras of political opportunity that brought us Ted Stevens to retrieve his right-hand woman. Ladies and gentlemen, your new UC Vice President, Aneliese Palmer '12, Chugiak High School alumna:We're going to wait a little while before endorsing, since you never know who you might see or what the seemingly conventional candidate might do, but we can't help comment on how awesome this ticket is. Aneliese is a professional comedian (and IGP and OHT member) and a big fan of marijuana. The rumor also has it that she is an excellent baker (probably something to do with marijuana) and really hates Aaron Burr. We can haz interview?!